Compassion Focused Therapy in Pregnancy

Here are some CFT-informed practices that have supported me and may help others during pregnancy:

1. Compassionate Other Imagery

A powerful CFT tool that has supported me during my pregnancy is compassionate other imagery. This practice involves visualising a compassionate figure who embodies the core conditions of compassion: wisdom, strength, and caring commitment. For me, this imagery has provided deep emotional grounding when I’ve felt overwhelmed, uncertain, or in need of extra support.

In this imagery, your compassionate other is someone who deeply understands the emotional and physical challenges of pregnancy. They hold space for your emotions with wisdom, recognising that the ups and downs are a natural part of this transformation. Their strength helps them remain steady as they sit with your vulnerability, offering you emotional stability without judgment. Most importantly, their caring commitment is unwavering—they are deeply motivated to ensure your wellbeing and to offer you the care you need as you navigate this journey.

This practice has allowed me to approach my pregnancy with a sense of calm, knowing that I have the resources to face whatever comes my way. It’s a beautiful tool for fostering a deep sense of support and self-compassion during such a transformative time.

2. Soothing Rhythm Breathing

Connecting with my breath has been a simple yet powerful way to cultivate self-compassion. When I take slow, deep breaths, I imagine warmth and care flowing into my body, all the way to my baby. As I breathe out, I let go of tension and self-judgment. I picture the breath gently rocking and soothing both myself and my baby in that moment, deepening my sense of connection. Placing a hand on my belly while doing this reminds me that kindness towards myself is kindness towards them too.

3. Compassionate Place Imagery

A practice that has been particularly meaningful for me is imagining a compassionate place where both my baby and I feel safe and nurtured. For me, this is floating in the warm sea in Portugal (linked to a very precious memory where I felt soothed and safe) —weightless, embraced by the gentle movement of the water, the warmth of the sun on my skin. I connect this to my baby, who is floating in the amniotic fluid, held in the safe haven of my uterus. This imagery brings a deep sense of peace and connection, reinforcing the idea that we are both being carried and supported in this journey.

4. Soothing Rhythm Practices

CFT highlights the importance of engaging the parasympathetic nervous system (the body’s ‘rest and digest’ mode) to promote calm. Gentle activities like:

• Softly stroking my belly while speaking to my baby with warmth.
• Swaying rhythmically to calming music.
• Using self-touch (e.g., placing a hand on my heart or my belly) as a reminder of comfort and care.

These small, simple actions have helped me feel more settled, more grounded, and more connected by activating the soothing system.

5. Compassionate Letter Writing

Writing a letter to myself from the perspective of my compassionate self has been a powerful exercise. I’ve written about:

• How I’m doing my best through the ups and downs of pregnancy.
• The challenges I’m facing with understanding rather than judgment.
• Words of encouragement and support for myself as a parent-to-be.

Each time I do this, I feel a shift—away from self-criticism and towards a softer, more forgiving way of relating to myself.

6. Compassionate Self-Talk and Reframing

I’ve noticed how easy it is to slip into self-judgment. But catching those thoughts and gently shifting them has been transformative. For example:

• Instead of “I should be handling this better,” I remind myself, “This is a big change, and I’m doing my best.”
• Instead of “I’m not prepared enough,” I tell myself, “I am learning and growing every day.”

Speaking to myself with the same kindness I would offer a friend has helped ease anxiety and soften the weight of self-doubt.